Taming the Toddler Tornado: Effective Tantrum Management

Tantrums are a normal part of toddler development, as little learners struggle to communicate complex emotions with limited language skills. Understanding and managing these emotional outbursts can help you navigate this challenging phase.

Understanding tantrum triggers can help caregivers anticipate and hopefully avoid some common causes of toddler outbursts:

• Communication Frustration: A toddler wants milk but can’t say “milk”, leading to screaming
• Hunger Trigger: Becoming irritable 30 minutes before mealtime
• Emotional Overwhelm: Feeling tired after a long day of activities
• Independence Struggles: Wanting to put on shoes “by myself”

Using these preventive strategies can help you nip toddler tantrums in the bud or avoid escalation of in-progress tumults:

• Establish and stick to routines: Consistent bedtime of 7:30 PM
• Offer choices whenever possible: “Do you want the red cup or blue cup?”
• Recognize early warning signs such as increased whining or clingy behavior

Tantrums may not always be avoidable.  These tips can help you navigate toddler tornadoes when they do happen.  

• Stay calm and composed; speaking in a soft, even tone
• Provide a safe space: Get down to your child’s level or sit nearby without intense engagement
• Avoid negotiating – instead ask your toddler if they need a hug
• Acknowledge big emotions with minimal dialogue: “I see you’re feeling mad”
• Create a ‘calm-down corner’ with soft toys
• Practice deep breathing exercises or squeezing a ball. 

Most tantrums will subside within a few minutes.  Remember that tantrums are a normal part of toddler development and avoid punishing your child as they are navigating their complex emotions and situations.

If you notice your child is exhibiting one or more of the following behaviors, be sure to discuss with your child’s pediatrician:

• Frequent, prolonged tantrums lasting beyond age 4 or tantrums occurring multiple times daily
• Physical aggression causing injury or self-harm
• Complete inability to calm down or communicate during emotional outburst
• Tantrums interfering with daily functioning
• Consistent tantrums triggered by specific sensory experiences

Managing Toddler tantrums can be hard! Especially as a new parent, or when parenting multiple children. When handling toddler tantrums it’s crucial to prioritize your own emotional well-being by staying calm, seeking support, and acknowledging your own challenges.

Be Sure to Prioritize Self-Care

Ensure you are getting enough rest, eating healthy meals, and engaging in activities that help you relax to better manage your emotional state. Seek support by talking with your partner, family, friends, or a therapist about any struggles or feelings of overwhelm that you may be experiencing.

Tantrums are a developmental period. With patience, understanding, and consistent strategies, parents can help toddlers learn to manage their emotions effectively.  Remember “this too shall pass” – tantrums will eventually subside as your child grows and learns better communication skills.   

Schedule a free call with a pediatric speech therapist at East Bay Child Development Center if your child could benefit from speech and language therapy to better manage their emotions and identify big feelings.